A Case of the Benns
The music starts the 'intro several times, but each time BENN jumps in to sing, the music refuses to break into the melody. Finally BENN sends ARIEL over to make mystic gestures at the musician and the melody begins. 
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| Benn: | So
long ago, before I was born The Churches and the Benns had an oath they’d sworn. They swore that their kids would one day be wed, Even though not either child had shown its head. |
| Chorus: | Even though not either child had shown its head. |
| Benn: | But
things went awry as you can plainly see: For only boys were born and could not marry me. |
| Chorus: | Yes
things went awry as one can plainly see: For only boys were born so he is still free. |
| Benn: | As I
grew up, how my mom did fret. When I came of age she welched upon her bet. My marriage prospects seemed rather grim, So she sent me off to sea under Captain Jim. |
| Navy: | She sent him off to sea under Captain Jim. |
| Benn: | And
my new life was quite strange to me: A cabin boy’s apprentice in the queen’s navy. |
| Navy: | His
new life style was quite queer to he: A cabin boy’s apprentice in the queen’s navy. |
| Benn: | (spoken) I said it was quite “strange” to me. |
| Navy: | (spoken) Sorry. |
| Benn: | One
blust’ry day, its flags unfurled, My ship, “Albatross,” sought a brave new world. My maiden trip was as calm as I’d seen, Until there was a shipwreck in the Caribbean! [care-a-BEAN] |
| Navy: | Until we had a shipwreck in the Caribbean! [ca-RIB-ee-an] |
| Pirates: | Until there was a shipwreck in the Caribbean! [care-a-BE-an] |
| Benn: | And
all hands drown’d except for me. Our ship went to the bottom of the deep blue sea. |
| Chorus: | And
all there drown’d except for he His ship went to the bottom of the deep blue sea. |
| Benn: | When
I woke up I leaned in a while (change of tempo) That the ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle. (return to normal tempo) I was all alone, there was no one there, Except for the naked sprite named Ariel. |
| Church: | Except for the naked sprite named Ariel? |
| Benn: | She
taught me her tricks and spells to compose, And I taught her of England and to wear some clothes. |
| Chorus: | She
taught him some tricks and how to spell And he taught her British cooking and fashion as well. |
| Benn: | Alone
with her I thought “what the hell,” I shall expand my intellect just like the Krell. For forty years we had to endure ’Till rescued by a boat on a three-hour tour. |
| Chorus: | A three-hour tour. |
| Benn: | Upon
my return I was shocked to see My pay and rank accruing in the queen’s navy. |
| Chorus | :Upon
his return he was shocked to see That now he is an adm’ral in the queen’s navy. |
| Benn: | Though
time has flown and years may have pass’d A bargain’s a bargain to the very last. My lawyers say and without hesitation: My troth now devolves unto the next generation. |
| Chorus: | His troth now devolves unto … the what? |
| Ariel: | (spoken) It mean’s he can marry Church’s offspring. |
| Chorus: | (spoken)
Oh! (sung) His troth now devolves to the next generation! |
| Benn: | With
a royal writ which must all abide I have come aboard the Crimson Curse to claim my bride. |
| Chorus: | With
royal writing and swelling with pride He has come aboard our ship somehow to claim his bride. |
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