| Act
V. "What fools these mortals be” |
Scene
1 BENN, ARIEL, CHURCH, NAVY, and PIRATES.
All are gathered on deck awaiting the Admiral. Facing stage right.
|
| SFX:
A trumpet is blown off-stage. |
|
Admiral BENN
(SL) enters with the sprite, ARIEL (SL).
|
Benn:
|
Thank
you for that fanfare, Mr. Hornblower. |
|
SONG: Finale
A Case of the Benns |
| Church: |
Welcome,
Admiral Benn. I am Captain Church. |
| Benn: |
Which Captain
Church are you? |
| Shelley: |
Did he say
the captain was a witch? |
| Blake: |
Burn him
at the stake! Oh, sorry! |
| Church: |
I am the
Captain Church, of Her Majesty’s Royal Navy, and captain of the
Virgin Queen. |
| Benn:
|
Our queen
knows no captain. |
| Church: |
No, sir.
That’s the name of our ship. |
| Benn: |
Did I say
it wasn’t? Fetch me the other one – your brother. |
| Byron: |
The captain
has a brother? |
| Church: |
I’m afraid,
sir, he has become a pirate and does go by another name: Captain
Dredd. |
| All:
gasps of astonishment. |
| Benn: |
I care not
what he calls himself. Pirate or Navy, the agreement is binding.
Fetch him here, and his beautiful daughter. |
| Church: |
He will
be most tractable. His daughter is another matter. I hear that she
has her own mind and is quite headstrong. |
| Benn:
|
I have heard
a similar tale. No matter. I have powers than can move her mind
to me. |
| BENN
signals to ARIEL. |
| Ariel:
|
Thy wish
is but a snap to me, So I shall fetch thy bride-to-be. |
| ARIEL
(SL) exits. |
| Scene
2 BENN and CHURCH, [NAVY, PIRATES] |
| [cut] |
Scene
3 ROMEO, ETHEL, BENN, CHURCH, [NAVY, PIRATES].
ROMEO (SR) and ETHEL (SR) enter, hand-in-hand. |
| Church:
|
Ah, Admiral
Benn, here is my son, Romeo. |
| Benn: |
Your son.
No, he won’t do at all. |
| Romeo: |
Won’t do
what, father? |
| Benn: |
Ah, but
this must be the other one. Your niece is it? |
| Church: |
Aye. This
is my brother’s daughter, Ethel. |
| Benn: |
Ethel. Ethel.
Well it lacks a certain ring. But, still, she is most comely. Have
her prepared. We shall be wed on the morrow. |
| The
crowd gasps. ROMEO and ETHEL are shocked. |
| Ethel:
|
What madness
is this? How is it that I am to be wed? I know you not, sir! |
| Benn: |
Oh, did
you miss my entrance? It was a frightfully clever little song. (hums
a few notes of the song) Never mind. This was all arranged long
before you were born, my dear. And before my birth as well. |
| Romeo: |
You cannot
wed her. She is in love with another. |
| Benn: |
Love? What’s
love got to do with it? We’re speaking of marriage. Love! Hah! Next
you’ll be telling me that she’s in love with you! What a notion! |
| BENN
(SR) exits amiably singing his patter song to himself. |
| Scene
4 ROMEO, ETHEL, CHURCH, [NAVY, PIRATES] |
| Romeo: |
Father.
I do not care for his tone. |
| Church: |
He was a
little flat wasn’t he? |
| Romeo:
|
You cannot
let him wed Ethel. I… I… I’ll not allow it! |
| Ethel: |
I’ll not
allow it! |
| Church: |
Children,
children. I’m afraid the law is very much on his side. And against
you. |
| Romeo: |
If that
be the law – then damn the law! |
| Gasps
from the NAVY men and CHURCH. |
| Church: |
Son. You
must watch your language! |
| Ethel: |
Aye. Damn
the law. And damn Admiral Benn. |
| Romeo:
|
And if you
will not help us – damn you, too! |
| CHURCH
faints dead away. Cheers from the NAVY and the PIRATES. ROMEO (SL)
runs off stage, and ETHEL (SL) runs after him. The NAVY men help
CHURCH (SR) off stage. All exit (SR). |
Scene
5 ARIEL and JULIET.
JULIET has a mirror and is practising her scowling. ARIEL (SL) enters
and makes a mystic pass or two. ARIEL must have locket #5. |
| Ariel:
|
Why make
that face, sweet Juliet? ’Tis much too fine to frown or fret. |
| JULIET
turns around but does not see ARIEL. |
| Juliet: |
Someone’s
there with the voice of a nightingale. |
| Ariel:
|
I bring
thee word about thy fate.
The time grows nigh to find a mate. |
| Juliet:
|
Now you mock
me. All know of my vow not to mate. |
| Ariel: |
All the
world does know thy vow.
It’s men you scorn and men you vex.
But thou dost look most fairly now
And then upon the fairer sex. |
| Juliet:
|
I can keep
nothing from thee. Show thyself that I might know my tormentor. |
| ARIEL
makes another mystic pass and suddenly JULIET can see her.
|
| Juliet:
|
Thou art
truly as beautiful as I did imagine. |
| Ariel: |
And would
that I had time enough…
Thy warm embrace I must rebuff. |
| Juliet: |
Rebuff me
not. I wish for thee to… |
| Ariel: |
Forget thy
wishes. Come with me. Thy will is mine. Thou art not free. Hear
me, Julie, obey and then Go to my master, Adm’ral Benn. |
| ARIEL
points JULIET off-stage. JULIET (SR) exits. ARIEL becomes invisible.
|
Scene
6 ROMEO and ETHEL.
ROMEO (SL) and ETHEL (SL) enter. |
| Ethel: |
I do admire
the way thou didst make thy mind known to thy father. |
| Romeo: |
’Tis a telling
that is long overdue. |
| Ethel:
|
I have always
thought myself brave, but I think that I could do that not. Even
here, even now, I feel my father’s intimidation. |
| Romeo: |
Since this
life offers us scant comfort – let us move to another. |
| Ethel: |
Move to
another? Thou art not suggesting… |
| Romeo: |
Aye. This
very eve we shall away in one of the long boats. ’Tis not far to
the coast of France, and then, we may be free of laws, free of admirals,
and free of fathers. |
| Ethel: |
The very
thought of such freedom now causes me to chafe at chains I wore
not yesterday. ’Till tonight. |
| Romeo:
|
After dark. |
| Scene
7 NAVY men and PIRATES. |
| [cut] |
Scene
8 ARIEL and ROMEO.
ROMEO and ETHEL lean in for a kiss, but we hear ARIEL sing, and
they both freeze. ARIEL moves ETHEL (SR) to offstage, then ARIEL
takes ETHEL’s place and unfreezes the action. ROMEO kisses ARIEL
instead. |
| Romeo:
|
What magick
is this? Oh, you be that sprite, Ariel. Be you spying on me for
your master? |
| Ariel: |
I’m here
to help, and not to spy.
If not done right, then all will die. |
| Romeo: |
You talk
of death. You call that helping? |
| Ariel: |
No need
for death. ’Tis not too late.
And you must learn to trust your fate.
If you don’t want to learn from me,
Do you not heed the sisters three? |
| Romeo: |
If I understood
them I would. But their speech was so strange. |
| Ariel:
|
When all
else fails, here’s what to do:
Open your hand, I have for you,
Something here from out my pocket… |
| Romeo:
|
No. Let me
guess. You have a locket. |
| Ariel:
|
Well said,
my boy. Now at each turn
Just keep your head and quickly learn. |
| Romeo:
|
I have learned
one thing. When it doubt, someone will give you a locket. |
| Ariel:
|
Assuage your
doubt when life’s a blight,
Open this charm and all will be bright. |
| ARIEL
hands ROMEO a locket with some mystical music, then she makes a
mystical pass and sends him away (SR). |
| Ariel:
|
(to the
audience) Much time has pass’d and now it’s night.
And you have miss’d a wond’rous fight
Between the captains Church and Dredd.
The steel flew so, I fear’d them dead.
And all the while they’d vent their spleen.
And Church used big words, Dredd obscene.
A better sword fight, I’ve not seen!
But…..
Our play’s too long. We cut that scene. |
| ARIEL
(SR) exits |
Scene
9 ETHEL and DREDD ETHEL.
(SR) enters. She looks around furtively. She has a bag with her.
DREDD (SR) enters behind her. |
| Dredd:
|
Where goest
thou, daughter? |
| Ethel: |
I would
leave this ship rather than wed one I love not. |
| Dredd: |
The family
honour is at stake. You are promised to him. |
| Ethel:
|
I would sooner
wed a wookie. |
| Dredd:
|
Things be
not so bad. It is still possible to have the one you love. |
| Ethel: |
Then there
is a way to break this marriage pledge? |
| Dredd:
|
No, I be
afraid ’tis not. However… I know not how to put this for thy innocent
ears… However, wise wives can make certain accommodations when wed
against their wills. |
| Ethel: |
Thou dost
fret about my ears, and yet suggest immoral behaviour for the rest
of my body. |
| Dredd:
|
Immoral may
be. But common, and I dare say practical, nevertheless. |
| Ethel:
|
No. I shall
not. I shall not go gently into a wedding bed not of my making.
He shall discover that his intended is not a whore but a pirate.
I shall fight rather than bow to him. |
| Dredd: |
’Twill do
thee no good. With his sprite, Ariel, he has powerful magicks. Now
come with me. |
| Ethel:
|
Once again
I must defy you, father. Tell him I shall not move. If my love cannot
have me, I vow, as has my sister, no man shall possess me. Were
we still a Catholic country I would get me to a nunnery. |
| Dredd: |
Daughter! |
| Ethel:
|
Tell him:
I rather dead would be! |
| DREDD
(SR) exits. |
Scene
10 ETHEL.
ETHEL paces for a second and withdraws her lockets. |
| Ethel:
|
Were this
some fanciful romance, these lockets would be charmed, and I could
make a wish. But what would be my wish. More wishes? (exasperation)
I just wish everyone thought I was dead. |
| ETHEL
falls lifeless on the deck. She is well to stage left. |
Scene
11 ROMEO and ETHEL.
ROMEO (SR) enters. |
| Romeo:
|
Ethel… Ethel…
The boat is ready. We can depart for… |
| ROMEO
discovers ETHEL’s body. |
| Romeo:
|
What? What’s
this. No. This cannot be. (checking her vital signs) She’s
dead. They have killed her. Her bright flame snuffed out too untimely.
Out, out, brief candle. The world is over for me. Oh, fair cousin,
I shall avenge thy murder most foul… |
| A
moment of grief and reflection. |
| Romeo:
|
What was
it the sprite said to me? “When life’s a blight, open this charm
and all will be bright.” |
| ROMEO
opens a locket and extracts a tiny bottle. |
| Romeo:
|
A bottle.
(opens it and sniffs) It does smell so fierce. I wonder what
it contains. There be a label… |
| Romeo: |
P – O –
I – S – S – O – N. (a beat) Poison. Surely this is a sign.
This locket contains my last, best hope: death. |
| ROMEO
drinks the bottle. He makes a face at the taste. He takes the locket
out of ETHEL’s hands and holds it in his own. |
| Romeo: |
The taste
alone might kill me. I wish that it would make me as dead as fair
Ethel. |
| ROMEO
falls lifeless beside ETHEL. |
Scene
12 CHURCH, BENN NAVY, PIRATES, ARIEL.
CHURCH and BENN enter (SR) . They are discussing something very
quietly. The NAVY men and the PIRATES (SR) rush in, wielding their
swords. ARIEL enters (SR). |
| Church:
|
What is the
meaning of this? Have you gone mad? |
| Shelley:
|
Mad we may
be, Captain. But we cannot let you betray your son in this manner. |
| Benn:
|
Send these
ruffians away. ’Tis your duty. |
| Church: |
Betray my
son? |
| Blake:
|
Aye. ’Tis
you captains that have gone mad. We care not for betrothals made
generations back. Your duty is to your son. And your niece. |
| Church: |
What do
you propose to do? |
| Dick:
|
We propose
to take this ship and force yon admiral to walk the plank. We shall
send him back to the bottom of the deep blue sea. |
| John:
|
And his little
sprite too. |
| Church:
|
That’s treason
you’re talking. |
| Blake: |
What of
it? |
| Church: |
I just wanted
you to keep your definitions straight because I’m with you. (he
draws his sword) Lay on you ruffian! And damnèd be he that first
cries hold enough. |
| Benn:
|
Ariel protect
me! |
| Ariel: |
Protect
I shall. But hear my word,
Your orders now do ring absurd.
Your marriage plans have come untied,
For yonder there two youths have died.
On love’s harsh altar, sacrificed.
A lesser act should have sufficed,
But youth is like a tempest storm,
All sound and fury, void of form
All reason from the world it takes
And leaves destruction in its wake. |
| Everyone,
save ARIEL rushes to the bodies of ROMEO and ETHEL. CHURCH breaks
down and cries. He is lead off stage (SR) by the NAVY men. The PIRATES
and BENN exit. |
Scene
13 EVERYBODY.
The NAVY MEN and PIRATES enter bearing two tables. They are wearing
black armbands. They place the bodies of ROMEO and ETHEL on the
tables, and file onto opposite sides of the stage. DREDD and BENN
(SR) enter, both wearing black armbands. During DREDD’s speech,
ARIEL enters and shows great interest in the corpses. Even smelling
their mouths and examining the lockets. |
| Dredd:
|
Today be
a black day. Through our pride, through our meddling, through our
foolish contracts, we did sentence these two lovers to death. My
brother, who is too grieved to be here, and I bear the full blame
and there be nothing we can do to atone. Much guilt abounds and
all are punishèd.
Admiral
Benn, here be your bride. See what your stubborn threats have wrought.
Powerful in magick you may be, but even you cannot bring back the
dead. That power be reserved for our lord.
|
| Benn: |
’Tis true.
Had I but known the consequences… Why did my queen command me so? |
| Dredd: |
The queen? |
| Benn:
|
Aye, she
made it clear that I was to marry your daughter. She felt my magicks
would be able to… |
| QUEEN
enters with CHAMBERLAIN, and NURSE (SL). |
| Queen:
|
Silence,
you complete idiot. We gave no such order! |
| All: |
The queen. |
| Everyone
(except the ROMEO, ETHEL, and ARIEL) bows for the queen. |
| Benn:
|
Your Majesty.
Did you not instruct me to seek out Captain Church to wed his daughter? |
| Queen: |
Not his
younger daughter, but his elder! ’Tis Juliet that thou shouldst
wed. You both deserve one another. |
| Juliet:
|
Me, marry
him? But I do abhor the masculine sex. |
| ARIEL
makes many mystical passes, accompanied by mystical music. JULIET
and BENN become hypnotised. During this CHURCH enters unobtrusively. |
| Ariel:
|
I weave for
thee a love that’s mighty.
Adonis and Aphrodite.
Our love shall grow but not be free,
Like Hades and Persephone.
To Adm’ral Benn you shall be wed,
But ’twon’t be he you take to bed.
To outside eyes we must behave.
But you’ll know master from the slave.
If suspicions be not aroused.
Thou need not break thy Sapphic vows.
In love’s sweet arbour we shall dwell.
Like Xena and fair Gabrielle. |
| Juliet:
|
Aye, I will
wed the admiral. |
| Queen:
|
Good, that’s
settled. |
| Dredd: |
Settled,
Your Majesty? When these two children lie dead? |
| Benn:
|
And as you
said, even my vaunted powers cannot revive them. |
| Ariel: |
None can
revive if dead they be.
Lifeless they seem, not dead, you’ll see.
A wish made Ethel like a stiff.
And Romeo did take a whiff
He thought was poison and his “death”
Was really just a lack of breath.
This bottle reads “poisson.” I say. ’
Tis merely fish sauce à Français! |
| Chamberlain: |
Then they
can be revived? |
| Ariel: |
’Tis just
like Sleeping Beauty, this. They can be waken’d with a kiss. |
| ARIEL
kisses both ROMEO and ETHEL and they come back to life. |
| John: |
How can
she do that? |
| Benn: |
It’s a mystery. |
| All:
|
Hooray! |
| Dredd:
|
Now is the
summer of our great content! Now the only impediment to your union
be your cousinhood. Perhaps Her Majesty can put in a good word with
the archbishop of Canterbury and get ye a dispensation… |
| Queen:
|
That shall
not be necessary. Nurse. |
| All:
|
Hello, nurse! |
| Nurse:
|
I have a
sad and complicated tale to tell. I have been a nurse in the Church
family for many years. But I am a prone to be a might addle-pated.
Many years ago I apprenticed these two lads to the sea. One as a
pirate, one as a pilot. |
| All:
|
We know!
We know! |
| Nurse:
|
But what
you do not know, was that years before I was witness to the birth
of these children in the Church house. At the same time Mrs. Church
was a-birthing one child, the upstairs maid, young Sally, was also
in labour. Since Sally was not then married, I brought her baby
along with other to the mistress of the house and told her that
he had twins. |
| Dredd:
|
Then that
means… |
| Church:
|
That we are
not brothers. |
| Romeo: |
And we’re
not… |
| Ethel:
|
Related at
all. |
| Church: |
You know,
I never did think we looked much alike. |
| Dredd:
|
Me neither. |
| Queen:
|
We hope
that all are happy now. And if we are quite finished we have a war
against Spain to prosecute. Captains Church. We shall need both
of you for this task. |
| Romeo: |
You’ll need
these lockets. Here, have all of them. |
| Dredd:
|
Beggin’ Your
Majesty’s pardon, but I be a pirate. |
| Queen: |
Not any
more. I hereby draft you into the Royal Navy. I’ll give you another
ship… |
| Dredd:
|
But what
about the Crimson Curse? |
| Queen:
|
We are sure
your daughter and son-in-law can handle her. Captains, Chamberlain,
come with us. We must plan for the morrow’s eve. |
| Chamberlain:
|
What are
we going to do tomorrow night? |
| Queen: |
The same
thing we do every night. Defeat the Spanish and try to take over
the world. |
| Chamberlain:
|
Come, Your
Majesty. Your eight minutes are almost up. |
| Ethel:
|
A pirate
– at last. And I vow that all the pirates on the Crimson Curse shall
be women. |
| Romeo:
|
I’m sorry
men – you’ll have to seek employment elsewhere. |
| Dick: |
That be
all right. We each have… sisters… |
| Peter: |
Twin sisters… |
| Dick: |
(hesitantly)
that are fine pirates. We shall send them to ye. |
| Ethel:
|
Verily! |
| Romeo: |
If thou
be not sister, nor cousin, nor kith nor kin to me… |
| Ethel:
|
Shut up and
kiss me. |
| And
he does. |
|
SONG: Reprise
Navy Reprise |
|
SONG: Reprise
Pirate's Reprise |
| SONG:
Reprise
Ariel and Juliet's Reprise |
| SONG:
Reprise
Admiral Benn's Reprise |
| SONG:
Reprise
Lament Reprise |
| SONG:
Reprise "As
Lover's Do" Reprise |
|
SONG: Finale
The Play’s the Thing |
Act I
Act II
