A play by William Alan Ritch

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Act III. "A Comedy of Errors"
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I'd work on those pectorals. Getting a bit flabby there. It looks bad for the rest of the crew. And can I not skewer a hapless man with epee, foil, and sabre? And can I not rout the Swiss alongside my dear pater? Thou didst always like her best! Thou knowest thy daughters, naught! My sister would not 'fetch a husband'; if you were to bribe him with all the frogs in France. It is high time that I remove the veil from thine eyes. Art thou aware of all the sobriquets my sister hath earned at court? You may so order me, since thou art my father and I am duty bound to follow thee, but my spirit shall ride with thee against the Swiss. You force me to behave in a manner un-gallant. Then, unsex me in your mind and treat me as you do your mates. I'd not mate you in this way, but you force me to keep you in check.    
Mate me or no. I'll not sacrifice my queen to your rook. And if you be not a captive...you must be...? Ethel, daughter of the captain of this vessel. We two are quite used to each other now. 'You' me no more, and pray be more familiar. I did divulge only my plan, but not my wishes. I have far more wishes than plans. You were right, negotiations were short.  And to the point! Gentlemen, do come join us. There's plenty of booty to share. This reminds me of tea atop the Virgin Queen. Are you coming with us?  Methinks I shall tarry a moment more in the night's bracing air. Now, dost thou recall our previous conversation?  
Something about wishes.  
And being careful about them... If this be true and brother, sister we...  
Then God forbid, our romance cannot be.
Photos© 1999 by the MRAP's official photographer: Ken Grimes
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